"Abraham Lincoln, Man of God" by John Wesley Hill

"In his life he was a great American. He is an American no longer. He is one of those giant figures, of whom there are very few in history, who lose their nationality in death. They are no longer Greek or Hebrew or English or American-- they belong to mankind. I wonder whether I will be forgiven for saying that George Washington was a great American, but Abraham Lincoln belongs to the common people of every land."
-Lloyd George
(at the unveiling of the Lincoln statue near Westminster Abbey in August, 1920)

"nee-naw"

I just read this on a blog. It's about a couple of EMTs in England. I love it because it sounds like something i would do. Haha.

A busy Saturday day shift:

We were travelling to an emergency, with blue lights and sirens, when all of a sudden the sirens fail. Looking at each other, we decide if we should inform control that we could not continue?....or should we just carry on without the sirens?…..or should we make our own siren noises using the PA system on the vehicle? What followed was the most surreal 2 minutes of my ambulance career. Travelling down the A1 with Dom on the mic, using the intercom through the loudhailer on the front of our Chevy G30 ambulance making his own “nee-naw”, “yelp” and “wail” noises. With tears running down our faces from laughing so much, we arrived at the patients house, within our 8 minutes.

I just got done watching fireworks and have big tears in my eyes! Lately I have been very...patriotic I guess you could say. Seeing the American flag blowing in the wind gives me goosebumps! What an amazing country this is. From the freedoms that we share, to the traditions. This country was created for a very important purpose-to be the place where the gospel could be restored. We know that our Savior died for our sins here on Earth. We know that other worlds were created but this is the place where Christ was crucified. And the United States of America was trusted with the gospel, and was given the responsibility to share it with others. The rights and freedoms that we have here allow that to be possible. I hold a special place in my heart for those in the military who protect those rights and freedoms. What an honor it is to know people who have served and fought for our country. I tear up at the third verse of America the Beautiful.

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!

I am so thankful for those that have served in the military and those that continue to. There is a level of sacrifice given by them that most cannot even begin to comprehend.
How thankful I am for the gospel, and liberties it allows us.

...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
2 Corinthians 3:17

a watched pot never boils....

...and watched seeds never sprout!!!


I'm impatiently waiting for my herbs to grow. We haven't had very much sunshine the past few days. I love our cooler weather but I wish my fragile seeds were doing better!

Sisters :)

Abraham Lincoln

I've been reading this really great book called "The Eloquent President: A Portrait of Lincoln Through His Words." I came across a piece of one of his speeches that I thought was so beautiful and poetic. He said:

"We are indeed going through a trial--a fiery trial. In the very responsible position in which I happen to be placed, being a humble instrument in the hands of our Heavenly Father, as i am, and as we all are, to work out His great purposes, I have desired that all my works and acts may be according to His will, and that it might be so, I have sought His aid--but if after endeavoring to do my best in the light which He affords me, I find my efforts fail, I must believe that for some purpose unknown to me, He wills it otherwise."

It's neat to hear a leader of our country-someone who holds so much power-be humble and recognize the fact that nothing can be done without that communication between him and our Heavenly Father. Maybe I'm reading a little too much into this but reading that reminded me of the the scripture (Luke 22:42) when the Savior is in the Garden of Gethsemane praying and he says "nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." It's not always easy to have that attitude when going through life's many trials but it is this attitude that protects us and promises us happiness in the end. I am so thankful for the fact that I know that our Father in Heaven knows us! He really does and that communication is so important. Oh, and I know that the blessings do come. They may not come in the way or the timing that WE have planned on but they always happen to show up when we need them. It's really such a comforting thought for me to know that when we are making good choices, doing our best, and put our trust in the Lord...that no matter what the outcome is...we won't be forgotten. I have such a testimony of prayer. I have prayed about the most important things and decisions in my life...to the smaller things that I thought would seem insignificant to Heavenly Father. I know that He hears our prayers. Every single one of them and none of them are insignificant. He loves us and is always always there to listen. I recently had the opportunity to teach the combined lesson for the young women in my ward and the topic was "A Daughter of God." The manual was talking about the relationship we have with our Heavenly Father. It mentioned that in the premortal existence, the father of our spirits nurtured and taught us. We are his children. He knows us well. Why wouldn't that be true? My earthly father knows me pretty darn well. He taught me as I was growing up and was (and is) always there for me. Why would that be any different with our Heavenly Father, the creator of our spirits? I know that His love is eternal and unchanging.

"From simple trials to our Gethsemanes, prayer can put us in touch with God, our greatest source of comfort and counsel." -President Ezra Taft Benson

2008

2008 is quickly coming to an end and it's time to reflect on the past and prepare for the future. Every new year I make resolutions that don't usually last longer than about 3 months. As I have been thinking about this past year, I'm reminded of the things I wish I had made time for or the things I shouldn't have spent time on at all. Of course there are still the smaller goals I will have throughout the year...but they sort of all fall under one category: no regrets. I think it's time that I put my whole heart into everything I do. I don't want to go throughout this life and ever have anyone question whether or not I was thankful for something they did or to question my feelings for them. Life is short and there are so many things that are uncertain. It's time for me to not let my fears get in the way of the things that are important. It's time to take some risks and to live my life to the fullest. I have met some amazing people this past year. Some of them have left a permanent impression on my life. I have learned so much from these people. There are some people I carried over into 2008 from previous years. How thankful I am for them and their constant friendship and love. I am sure that this next year will have its trials waiting for us all so that we may continue to grow. I pray that I will be able to carry all of my friends and family with me into 2009. Know that I am thankful for you. Know that I love you. Know that no matter what we can get through it. Know that I am here and that you can lean on me when you need it.
Let's make 2009 a great year:)

"Always remember to slow down in life; live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart."

Just a couple thoughts:)

So I've been reading my scriptures a lot recently. I made it a goal to read the Book of Mormon in one month. I can do it:) But in all of this reading I have been doing....a parable from a book that I have read keeps popping into my head. It says:

A man travelling through the country came to a large city, very rich and splendid: he looked at it and said to his guide, "This must be a very righteous people, for I can only see but one little devil in this great city."
The guide replied, "You do not understand, sir. This city is so perfectly given up to wickedness...that it requires but one devil to keep them all in subjection."
Travelling on a little farther, he came to a rugged path and saw an old man trying to get up a hill side, surrounded by seven great, big, coarse-looking devils.
"Why," says the traveler, "this must be a tremendously wicked old man! See how many devils there are around him!"
"This," replies the guide, "is the only righteous man in the country; and there are seven of the biggest devils trying to turn him out of his path, and they all cannot do it."

Ah! I love that story.
This is another thought I have been having and I hope I can find a way to tie the two together. If not...you'll at least get two totally separate (but quite wonderful to think about) thoughts:-D
So...I have been reading about Lehi and his family. I'm just in the first few chapters of the first book of Nephi-i've read this stuff a kabillion times-but I was noticing something a little different this time. We all know how the story goes. Lehi's family was out in the wilderness and had to leave all of their possessions behind. Laman and Lemuel were murmuring. It was sort of a stressful time for the family. One thing I noticed was that several times throughout these chapters...it always says that "they gave thanks." Wow. Sometimes that isn't easy to do when you are going through some serious crap! But then I think about how their thankful attitude gave them hope and faith. It made them happier people. It makes the hard things feel bearable. It gives you a different perspective. Now this is something that I don't feel like I struggle with....but I can always use a reminder. I remember my mom told me once that on her drive to or from work sometimes is when she has her best prayers. She says her "thank you" prayers then. Just listing things. Things that we don't always think of when we say our other prayers. I remember saying to my mom "oh no! How do you even get home safely with your eyes closed the whole time!" Haha. I was little....I didn't get it then. Ok....so anyway....this is me setting a goal to be more thankful. Not just to feel it....but also to tell those I am thankful for. Life is too short....and I am so blessed:)
Have a super good day!

Another way to look at "Footprints"

I was recently talking to a friend of mine about the Footprints poem. When he mentioned the story, I was reminded of a client of mine who had lost his wife recently to breast cancer. He had cared for her for 17 months while this cancer grew in her body. He had just buried his wife a few days before he came to see me for a massage. It was one of those times where right away we could tell that we were both members of the church and that it was no coincidence that he was scheduled with me. Anyone else could have massaged him, but he was scheduled with me and it seemed to be what both of us needed. He needed the relaxing massage and I needed to hear about his experience. Anyway, he mentioned the Footprints poem to me:

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Scenes from his life flashed across the sky and he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life had flashed before him, he recalled that at the lowest and saddest times of his life there was only one set of footprints. Dismayed, he asked, "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you would leave me.

The Lord replied, "My precious child. I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering when you saw only one set of footprints... That was when I carried you."


But then my client said to me, "I think of that poem a little differently. I like to think of lots of sets of footprints in this sand. They are all of the people who are put in our path while we are going through trials. They are, of course, friends and family...but also visiting and home teachers, bishops, people who bring you meals...(and the list went on)." He went on to say , "some of the footprints are deeper than others. But these are the people who carry you. It's why we were given stakes and wards. It's why the church was organized the way that it is. And then gradually, as we heal and need these people less and less, the footprints begin to fade (though these people will always be there for us when we need them). And when we are strong enough to stand again and have grown and learned, then we are ready to be a set of footprints for someone who needs us to carry them."


So there have only been a few times when I have cried while giving someone a massage, but this was one of them! He had just lost his wife but you could tell that his spirit was so strong. I just think that is a beautiful, different way to look at that poem that we all know so well. And I will leave it at that:)

An early thanksgiving:)

I've been a little stressed and overwhelmed these days. Lots of things going on. I hate the feeling of a little cloud hanging over me so I've been trying to count my blessings. One specific thing keeps coming to mind. Actually it's several things but...you'll understand in a second. I am so thankful for the people in my life that lift me up and make me stronger through their examples. (FYI-that sentence was so hard to type with tears in my eyes!) I have been so blessed to know these people. Family, friends, clients. People who have overcome physical challenges. Some have overcome spiritual challenges. Some just wake up and try their hardest to be happy, even when going through the most difficult trials one could face. Some keep an eternal perspective. Some just smile. Their stories are like a kick in the butt for me. Like little reminders to keep moving forward but also to slow down and to love & enjoy things. I won't go into detail about their specific stories because we would be here all day. Most of these people may not know I look up to them. But....I do. I hope to absorb their wonderful qualities so that I can be a better example to others:)

Jack Handey...again:)

I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when Dad approached. He was carrying a letter or something in his hand, and he looked worried. I continued to hammer as he came toward me. "Son," he said, "why are you hammering on that fence? It already has plenty of nails in it." "Oh, I'm not using nails," I replied. "I'm just hammering." With that, I returned to my hammering. Dad asked me to stop hammering, as he had some news. I did stop hammering, but first I got a couple more hammers in, and this seemed to make Dad mad. "I said, stop hammering!" he yelled. I think he felt bad for yelling at me, especially since it looked like he had bad news. "Look," he said, "you can hammer later, but first-" Well, I didn't even wait to hear the rest. As soon as I heard "You can hammer," that's what I started doing. Hammering away, happy as an old hammer dog. Dad tried to physically stop me from hammering by inserting a small log of some sort between my hammer and the fence. But I just kept on hammering, 'cause that's the way I am when I get that hammer going. Then, he just grabbed my arm and made me stop. "I'm afraid I have some news for you," he said. I swear, what I did next was not hammering. I was just letting the hammer swing lazily at arm's length, and maybe it tapped the fence once or twice, but that's all. That apparently didn't make any difference whatsoever to Dad, because he just grabbed my hammer out of my hand and flung it across the field. And when I saw my hammer flying helplessly through the air like that, I just couldn't take it. I burst out crying, I admit it. And I ran to the house, as fast as my legs could take me. "Son, come back!" yelled Dad. "What about your hammer?!" But I could not have cared less about hammering at that point. I ran into the house and flung myself onto my bed, pounding the bed with my fists. I pounded and pounded, until finally, behind me, I heard a voice. "As long as you're pounding, why not use this?" I turned, and it was Dad, holding a brand-new solid-gold hammer. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and ran to Dad's outstretched arms. But suddenly, he jumped out of the way, and I went sailing through the second-story window behind him. Whenever I hear about a kid getting in trouble with drugs, I like to tell him this story

fill 'er up

Do you ever have one of those days where you go to fill up the gas tank, say you are only going to put $20 in....and wind up filling it up because you can't stop on the dollar exactly? I kept going 2 cents over then saying to myself "just one more dollar....I can get it this time." Not only was the gas station saying " Just fill it up elizabeth" but also "we are going to charge you up the wazoo for your fuel." Have my money! I didn't want it anyway.

p.s. last post continued *yawn*

So I'm closing my eyes and a thought pops into my head. Do birds sleep at night? I don't think I ever learned that. You don't see them flapping around at night. Do they have a curfew? After what time do you just start to not see them flying around? It's way too early for this kind of crazy talk. But really...did I just miss the 'when birds rest' day in school? *yawn* I swear I have only had water to drink today.

i'm trying to blog myself to sleep *yawn*

I'm really, really tired....yet I can't sleep. Here I am...just laying in bed...being bored and sleepy and slightly cranky *yawn*...because I'm bored and sleepy. I can't get comfortable. I'm not too hot, not too cold. Tons of pillows...blah blah blah. You know when your eyes dry out a bit it makes u extra sleepy? ...well I have the fan right on my face and not even THAT is working. Counting sheep doesn't work...I hate numbers.*yawn* I could get a book but...I don't wanna. It feels a lot later than it actually is. Maybe I'm not going to sleep because every time I do...I just have to wake up again. Waking up isn't so fun. But...I would rather wake up than...never wake up. *yawn* wow...I'm noticing that when I'm sleepy...I do this "..." A lot. I wonder how many times I will wind up doing "..." in this blog. It's so....crazy! *yawn* I'm going to go try to close my eyes...yet again. Wish me luck. *yawn* peace out.

coupons!

When I picked up my mail today I noticed an envelope of coupons from my grocery store. These aren't just ANY coupons...these ones are hand-picked...just for me. Whenever I scan that little card while checking out...the computer keeps track of what I buy and sends me coupons for the things I purchase the most. How cool is THAT?! I get them in the mail all the time and don't think I have ever used them but...it was very kind of them to think of me! Haha.

the phantom vacuum truck guy!

Alright, YOU may not be able to tell what that picture is but....I sure can! I have been trying to get proof of this for a long time now. From my bed...every once in a while...late at night (10pm-1am) I can see this dude that drives a big vacuum truck by my window. He has these crazy lights on top of his car so you can't miss him. I guess his job is to vacuum up the parking lots. Why? I have NO idea! Haha. But it's so cool. He gets to drive a lot faster than we do in a parking lot...because it's so late, I'm sure. Plus he has those cool lights on his truck so it sort of makes him look 'official'. I'm guessing he has a badge too. Honestly, I love seeing this truck. It just puts a smile on my face to see this thing zoom past my window at night! Man, I would like to ask this guy some questions. I may start out with "who ARE you?" Or "how did you get hooked up with a job this cool?" Or "do you get benefits?":) What a cool job. I mean...how cool would it be to have a hugh vacuum that sucks up trash strapped to your rear-end! Haha. I'm sure he has seen a lot of things. So...bottom line...I'm proud of this picture. You never know when he is going to come...and he just goes so fast. He is like...the PHANTOM VACUUM TRUCK GUY! That's funny because I have always pictured him wearing a cape and looking somewhat like Zoro. And maybe if he reads this he will wave next time. And maybe it's way way past my bedtime.

Is it just me or...

Is it just me or does it look like a little alien reaching towards the sky?

i'm kinda grumpy

It has been such a long day and i have a lot on my mind. I have been thinking about the act of LYING. I have been watching some kidos lately and it has brought up this subject for me. My nephew has told me a couple little lies but not big ones. Not that it makes it ok....but you know....the little white lies that everybody told when they wanted to get out of trouble when they were little. But now I'm thinking about the bigger kind. The hurtful kind. I swear...people just can't tell the truth these days!!! I have been through enough already that i don't need people to lie to not hurt my feelings. I would SO much rather you tell me the truth than lie! And yes...by not saying anything...it is almost the same thing. Sometimes worse. "lying is done with words and also with silence." (Adrienne rich) I mean...if a friend came up to you and said 'i ran over your dog with my car' you would be hurt. But if they DIDN'T tell you that they did and you friggin found out....you would be upset about your dog and probably royally disappointed in your friend. I don't understand why this happens to me so many times! I think i trust people too easily. My mom tells me all the time that i tend to call my clients 'friends'. She said that i include most people in my 'friend' category. I'm sorry though...lying is where i draw the line. It is the ultimate disrespect for me. I swear...i can deal with ANYTHING...except for lying. You could punch me in the face and i could get over it. If you friggin lie to me...you don't get a second chance. That may seem harsh but i have really had it. Lying is so childish and...other than the little white lies that my nieces and nephews will tell....i swear i won't tolerate the other stuff. Bottom line....if you don't want to tell me the truth....don't bother trying to communicate with me. What a waste of time. GRRR! haha. I feel so much better now.

ode to The Office :)

Dwight Schrute: [On keeping weapons hidden around the office]"It is better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by someone you don't know on purpose."

Michael Scott: The most sacred thing I do is care. And provide for my workers, my family. I give them money. I give them food. Not directly, but through the money. I heal them. Today I am in charge of picking a great new healthcare plan. Right, that’s what this is all about. Does that make me their doctor? Um… yes. In a way. Yeah, like a specialist

Michael Scott: Coffee is a drug. It is quite literally a drug. It speeds people up. It's not the only drug that speeds people up. (Giggles slightly) You hear stories about Dunder-Mifflin in the eighties before people knew how bad cocaine was...gah..man did they move paper!

Michael Scott: Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the women's room, when I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can.

Michael Scott: So, you are all going to have a drug test. And I am not.
Dwight Schrute: No, you will be tested.
Michael Scott: Yes, I will not be.
Dwight Schrute: No, you will be. That is the law, according to the rules.
Michael Scott: OK, well, Dwight, just know that I've been very busy today, and I've got a lot of work to do, and I wasn't planning on going to the bathroom, and I don't even know if anything's going to come out.

Michael Scott: Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy.

Pam: [during a role-playing exercise] Okay, if I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe..not be a very good driver.
Dwight Schrute: [role playing as an Asian] Aw, man! I'm a woman?

Dwight Schrute: A 30-year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.

Dwight Schrute: I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like...Mozart's friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like...Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart? You’re gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

Michael Scott: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon. Sue me. And since I don't have a butler I have to do it myself... so, most nights before I go to bed I will lay out 6 strips of bacon out on my foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again, then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's a perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped on to the grill and it clamped on to my foot. That's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.

Jim Halpert: I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Foreman Grill.

Michael Scott: Dwight, what is your middle name?
Dwight Schrute: Danger.
Michael Scott: It's something with a "K"...
Jim Halpert: It's Kurt... wow, it's so sad that I know that.

Michael Scott: Oh gosh a minivan. What is Merideth's problem?
Jim Halpert: Well I think she has a kid.
Michael Scott: Yeah, she has one kid, no husband... she's not going to find one driving this thing around.

Michael Scott: You're the expert, is this enough to get 20 people plastered?
Store Clerk: 15 bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it.

Michael Scott: Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say “Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth”.

Michael Scott: You may look around and see two groups here; white collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

Dwight Schrute: And how big do you want this robot?
Michael Scott: Lifesize.
Dwight Schrute: Mmm no. Better make it two-thirds. Easier to stop if it turns on us.

Dwight Schrute: When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

Michael Scott: What is a Pap smear? Or is it "schmear?" Like cream cheese.

Dwight Schrute: Here are your credentials. You’ve been granted Level 3 security clearance. Don’t get too excited…that’s out of 20.

Michael Scott: Ladies and gentlemen, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car. It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital and the doctors tried to save her.. life.. they did the best that they could.... and she is going to be OK.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why did you have to phrase it like that?
Oscar: So she's really going to be fine?
Michael Scott: Yes, she has a slight pelvical fracture, but people have survived far worse.
Pam: Thank God you were there.
Michael Scott: I know.
Andy Bernard: Did you see who did it?
Dwight Schrute: No need. We can just check the security tapes.
Michael Scott: Kind of good news bad news there. I was able to be on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her.
Jim Halpert: Who was driving?[Michael pauses and is speechless]
Pam: Oh Michael.

Dwight Schrute: It's only Meredith.
Michael Scott: Yeah, it's only Meredith, thank goodness. But did you see the way they looked at me? Like I was a murderer or something.
Dwight Schrute: Hey... why did you do it?
Michael Scott: It was an accident.
Dwight Schrute: Was she talking back?
Michael Scott: No
Dwight Schrute: You got sick of that face? Did she owe you money? Uh-oh, is this downsizing? Did she spurn your advances?

Michael Scott: So Ryan got promoted to corporate, where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas back here in Scranton I am still top dog in a fairly large pond. So who is the real boss? The dog or a fish?

Michael Scott: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don't know... I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. No, don't sue me... that's the opposite of the point I'm trying to make.

Michael Scott: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.

Michael Scott: Myth - three Americans die every year from rabies. Fact - four Americans every year die from rabies. How many of you know someone that has been afflicted or affected by rabies? Show of hands. One, two, three... too many to count. It is truly the silent killer. No, it is the foaming barking killer.

it's not done growing yet!!!

In a day or two the "arms" will be taller than the actual cactus! Way cool!!

picture-"Come Forth" by Walter Rane

"...if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." Alma 48:17

This picture paired with the scripture gives me goose-bumps! It is one of the most amazing stories in the Book of Mormon...to me anyway. Throughout my divorce, I looked to the scriptures for comfort. Because of that specific trial of mine...this story meant so much. Captain Moroni-fighting for and standing up for what he believes in. I have drawn so much strength from the example of Captain Moroni. I remember feeling like my small, new family was being targeted by the adversary. I read this story in the scriptures and knew that I had to fight. We all have to! The world is a scary place these days and almost nothing is guaranteed.
I was speaking with someone this week about trials. She isn't a church member but u don't have to be to go through hard times! I told her about a Relief Society lesson that helped me to actually appreciate my trials! The teacher asked all of us to think about the hardest thing we have EVER been through. Mine was pretty easy. Then she had a hat filled with lots of pieces of paper. She told us that if we wanted to we could trade our trial for one in the hat! Um....nobody decided that was a good idea! It made me think about how our specific trials are tailor-made. They are just for us because Heavenly Father knows us! He knows our strengths and weaknesses-He knows which of us have been given specific tools. He will only give us trials that He KNOWS we can get through! I was thinking about the hat. What if I traded my divorce trial for another one and got....cancer or something! Cancer wasn't supposed to be my trial then! Heavenly Father knows me and knows that I had a family who would stand by my side and support me. He knew I had a testimony of prayer and the scriptures and He knew I had faith. I was ready to learn and grow from that and he allowed it to happen. Now it wasn't easy to go through and it was not fun but...I was given what I needed to get through it. I am so thankful for the person that I have become because of that specific trial.
I recently found a quote that I love to just think about! It says, "The Holy Ghost brings peace. It is the one feeling Satan cannot duplicate. He can duplicate pleasure, momentary happiness, and so on. But he cannot duplicate pure joy and peace." (Sally H. Barlow) I love that!!! It's true! Just recently I was praying and needed to be comforted. I needed some guidance and was listening for an answer to a question I asked. I will never forget the wave of peace I felt. I STILL feel it and there is no way that this amazing feeling could be reconstructed by anyone other than our Heavenly Father. I was trying to think of why that is. Satan hasn't ever felt this! He doesn't know what joy feels like. He will never have peace! It makes perfect sense.
I know I have kind of unloaded my brain but to tie everything up...our Heavenly Father knows us, loves us, and wants us to learn, grow, and be happy!
"If you want to be happy, be."
-Leo Tolstoy

im thinking "Little Shop of Horrors"

If my cactus carries on @ this pace....I may need to get a bigger condo. Have you seen "Little Shop of Horrors"?

creepy cactus!!!!!

So....um...it's only been about 4 days and it has grown at least an inch. It's like it has arms!! It may not be a big deal but that doesn't mean I'm not watching out for it to grow little hands. Then I might have to just put it in a cage. Any suggestions as to what I should do with a possessed cactus....if the cage plan falls through?

my testimony

This isn't going to be the typical Easter blog but I couldn't go another second without saying what's on my mind and in my heart.
I haven't been more full of the Spirit in a very long time, and maybe even EVER in my whole life. I almost don't even have the words to express this wonderful feeling. It's happiness unlike anything I have ever felt. It's peaceful and comforting. I have gotten on my knees several times today...looking for answers. I was prompted to read the scriptures - a section that is very special to me. I wondered why...because it is a section I know well and read often (just recently read actually). After following these promptings, I realized the answer to one of todays prayers. What an amazing thing! I wish these letters I am typing could show the actual feeling behind them. I am so thankful for that communication between Heavenly Father and I...because it is such a delicate and precious thing. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that He loves and knows us. He wants us to communicate with Him and He does answer our prayers. I am so thankful for the scriptures and for the amazing stories of courage and strength that are found within them. I am tremendously grateful for the priesthood and for those that I know and love who honor it. The priesthood is one of the most important things to have in a home. I know that the Savior suffered and died for us. He knows our pains and was willing to suffer for us so that we might make righteous decisions and return home to the presence of our Father in Heaven. They want us to be happy! I know that these things are true. I know that because I have felt and experienced them. I say these things in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.

a billion things that make me happy...

...in no specific order.

Love songs
The smell of summer
*stars*
Lime green
Gnomes (don't ask)
The sound a zipper makes
Laughing
Chocolate
The smell of a new book
Cheese!
Being organized
Helping others get organized
Feeling appreciated
A good hair day
My favorite pillow
Helping someone relax
Road trips
Compromising
Finishing a good book
Unexpected text messages
Cozy blankets
Receiving mail
Someone to cuddle
Dust storms
Tulips & poppies
Clouds
A new bottle of shampoo
Poetry
Sleeping in (though I never do)
Bass boost
A hot shower
Funny quotes
Remembering the looks my dog would give me
Rubber duckies
A cold glass of water
Fleece
Loyal friends
Parks
Driving
Acoustic versions of songs
Van Gogh paintings
Shopping
Reaching goals
Cold, crisp bed sheets
Open windows
Fresh cut grass
Stretching
The smell of warm photocopied papers
Being independent
Sunday afternoons
Fortune cookies
Empty picture frames
Palm trees
Listening to music in the dark
A clean kitchen
Compliments
Learning
Becoming an expert
Teaching
Baby monkeys
Bleach
Frozen yogurt
Picnics
Bubbles
Sandwiches
Greeting cards
Candle light
Homemade rolls
Ribbon
Cookie cutters
Airports
Holding hands
Cookbooks
Monsoons
Playing board games
Daydreaming
Lists!
Feeling content
My KitchenAid mixer
Mapquest
Cantaloupe
Singing in the car (I don't hold back)
Intense football games
Green bananas
Puppies
The smell of a blossoming orange tree
Hammocks
Wishing on stars
Being Italian
Whispering
Books on cd
Laughing so hard that I slip into silent-laugh-mode
Shakespeare
A new box of Crayola crayons
The "hoola-whappers" at the automatic car wash
Air guitar
No makeup days
Being barefoot

im telling you.....its cool!

this is what happens when im bored...

So I have 6 little cacti on my coffee table and one of them is way awesome. I swear, out of the blue, it started growing another arm. Actually not just one.....TWO...in the same spot. Siamese twin style. now I'm not from az and I don't pretend to know anything about cacti but I thought that when one grows an arm...it grows like an inch over 100 years or something!! This lil guy has grown two arms in a week. Maybe 5 days. Every time I look at it it's like twice as big. Anyway...ya. I'm really bored. But this cactus IS way cool.

on my bathroom mirror....

Ok. We already know I love quotes. Well these ones are up all around my bedroom. You should see my bathroom mirror! I love being able to read them as I get ready in the morning. (and as I check myself out throughout the day:) jk) These quotes are the best of the best!

"Take pride in how far you have come-have faith in how far you will go."

"Open your eyes to a better life. It may hurt at first but that's because the future is so bright."
-Jordan Porcher

"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory."
-George S. Patton

"If it is to be-it's up to me!"
-Pat Tillman (I don't know if he originally said it but I know he said it once! :)

"All things come round to him who will but wait."
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars."
-Oscar Wilde

"Courage is not the lack of fear but the ability to face it."
-Lt. John B. Putnam Jr.

"Tough times don't last but tough people do."
-AC Green

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body is never tired if the mind is not tired."
-George S. Patton

"The chief cause for failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment."

"As long as you wake up on the right side of the dirt...there is always hope!"
-Paula Dean

"To do anything in this world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can."
-Sydney Smith

"You don't always have to have the answers but you have to be able to endure. I'm gonna still cry though...but my tears don't compromise my strength. They never have."
-kleenex commercial:)

"Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but what happens inside of you."
-Harold B. Lee

quotes that make me laugh!

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
-Johnny Carson

"Cómo frijoles? (Spanish for 'how have you bean?')
-unknown

"Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say, "storms suck!"
-Johnny Carson

"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
-Johnny Carson
(I didn't realize how cool johnny carson was!)

"A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car."
-Carrie Snow

"Half of analysis is anal."
-Marty Indik

"Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice kitty" until you can find a rock."
-Will Rogers
(Sorry cat lovers!)

"Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean."
-Lawrence J. Peter

"When in doubt, duck."
-Malcolm Forbes

"She was what we used to call a suicide blonde-dyed by her own hand.
-Saul Bellow

"If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything."
-Bill Lyon

"Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil."
-J. Paul Getty

"Cannibals aren't vegetarians, they're humanitarians."
-unknown

"When they asked George Washington for ID, he just took out a quarter."
-Steven Wright

Tell the truth and run.
-Yugoslavian Proverb

"Men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes and its up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with."
-unknown

"Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Not lifting weights doesn't kill me. Therefore not lifting weights makes me stronger."
-Jack Handey

"The only thing that makes me believe in UFOs is that...sometimes I lose stuff."
-Jack Handey

"Something tells me that the first mouse trap wasn't designed to catch mice at all, but to protect little cheese "gems" from burglars."
-Jack Handey

catching up!

So many crazy things have happened in my life over the past 2 years. Through some of my trials I told myself that I need to write things down:trials I went through,the lessons I have learned, goals I was going to make, and all of the things I was thankful for. I was only good about it for a while...which seems to be my pattern with journaling. Maybe blogging from my phone will make my entries more consistent. I always have my phone with me (isn't that sad!) And can type with my thumbs faster than most can with all of their fingers (again, not a skill I am very proud of). Now to the things I wish I had written down.
1)Trials:
Until October of 2006...my biggest trial was probably something friend or math related. I will never forget that month though. First, grandma passed away. Its never easy losing a loved one but we were happy that she was finally comfortable again. It made it easier to think about her reuniting with grandpa. Sometimes I still try and imagine what that moment felt like for them. Next is the one most difficult to talk about....even after all this time has passed. The night I drove home from grandma's funeral in utah, my husband confronted me and asked for a divorce. Wonderful timing to pull the rug out from under me. I won't get into the details because it isn't a story that promotes warm-fuzzy-feelings. Just know that divorce is a disgustingly painful thing to experience. And last but not least, my big brother had mentioned to us at grandma's funeral that his hearing in his left ear was fading. He went to the doctor and later that month we found out that he needed to have a tumor the size of a golf-ball removed from his brain...as soon as possible. How does a family handle a month like that? I can honestly only explain that by telling you about the miraculous blessings that followed the scariest month of my life.
2)I am so thankful!:
I don't even know where to begin! I have always been blessed beyond what I feel worthy of. A couple of days after I had returned home from the funeral, my sister helped me find an apartment. My wonderful landlord wanted to move me in as fast as she could...so there was some cleaning that I needed to do, from the last tenants, before I could move in. There I was...standing in an empty apartment with hot-soapy water, a sponge, and a broken heart. I felt overwhelmed. I had lots of cleaning to do before I could move in. On top of things...I needed to be out of my old apartment the next day and hadn't even started packing. I had no one to help me move all of my furniture and boxes. I hadn't been able to eat for days and knew I didn't have the energy to do it myself. I remember cleaning the fridge and praying to Heavenly Father and asking for help. I prayed with everything I had left in my heart. I don't think 30 seconds had passed before my cell phone rang. It was a girl I met at a job I had just started. She asked if I needed help with anything. I asked her if she liked moving and told her my deadline. The next morning my friend knocked on my door and standing behind her were 6 volunteers and some from a high school football team. My angels! They packed me, moved me, and practically UNPACKED me....all within a few hours. They didn't let me lift a finger! Heavenly Father certainly heard my prayer and poured out some blessings! That is just one of the many. There's more where that came from:)
Living on my own wasn't financially easy at first. I will never forget the day when I received some money from some of my grandma's investments. The money was completely unexpected and I feel like it was grandma's way of saying she was watching over me. What a blessing!
As for my brother, the news about his surgery kept getting worse. He needed a 30(ish) hour operation and there were so many risks involved. He was expected to be in the hospital for quite some time. We fasted and prayed for him and the whole process was a miracle. In fact, his neuro-surgeon called him "the miracle man". The surgery lasted half as long and after just a few hours of recovery he was able to shake hands with his doctor and thank him-a movement we didn't think would come for weeks. He healed quickly and was able to recover at home. Just a few months later he was back to his normal self-100%.
*after his surgery, the doctor asked my family if my brother ran a lot. Before my brother had found out about the tumor ...he had made a goal of riding his bike 1000 miles before the end of the year. The doctor said that if he hadn't had that goal....he probably wouldn't have been strong enough to survive the surgery. What an inspiration!
These were only a handful of blessings we experienced. I will write more as I remember them. It is my testimony that our Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers. He loves us and allows us to have trials so that we can learn and grow. He will never allow us to go through something that we can't get through. The key is to keep in contact with Him, allow yourself to be guided and keep yourself worthy to receive inspiration. When faced with a challenge you have two options: sink or swim. I chose to swim and I knew that if I wanted to stay afloat that I had to think of my trials (especially that load of them) as a compliment from our Father in Heaven. He trusted my family...and he trusted me. He provided the tools I needed to survive October and the following months. I am so thankful for that!
I'm excited to write more....but for now my thumbs are tired!